Busy doing something

It's been a strange week for me, orders have really tailed off which worries me as we are a family of hanging in there, freelancers!

 new front page for Moobaacluck.com shortly

When you take your eye off the ball it's quite surprising how even though you think you aren't doing anything that different it seems to make the status quo dip. If that makes sense. There are so many things going on which seem to be draining me financially -  some good things, some really annoying like having to replace all the tyres on the car and TV aerial breaking in the lightning last week!

The good things are my courses and visiting London next week for a conference all about working with agents and licensing. Plus I am really looking forward to getting together for lunch at the forum next week with 6 or 7 other maker friends from Norfolk/Suffolk/ and Cambridge.

I know my work is good but I haven't been promoting myself at all really because I've had my head in surface pattern design course heaven or haven ;. The course has reminded me of what I love to do - design!!

 © Gabriella Buckingham - elements for card/wrap

And of course I start thinking about my illustration career which - before I had children - was  going really rather well. I know there are people out there routing for me that possibly are disappointed that I haven't expanded Moobaacluck more. Something always holds me back and I know it is my other ambitions. Anyone that knows me knows that I live and breathe my work - it has to be the best it can be - I have to be - I seem to be spending years juggling to find what that is. My friendships suffer as I don't give them the attention I should.. I'm the sort of person quietly in the background just hoping that real friends understand that. I'll be sending lots of cards when my new range is put together:)

I think the answer is to be very very strict with myself. 

I shall have to write out a timetable of what needs doing and allocate days to different aspects of my businesses. People say you can't do everything - at least not well - and I can see why. Clearly if you have one business and stick to developing more of the same it is going to work - assuming you have a customer base already which  I do.

On the other hand if you have a little voice inside you saying .. is this it?  If you have a vision of yourself designing for all sort of products, having exhibitions, maybe having a shop or running different web businesses... are they all supposed to remain dreams? Some of them perhaps. I had to end one of my ideas this year- Help-a-Creative is something I would have done if I'd had the money behind me to employ others to set it up. But I realised after a couple of months working on it that I needed to turn my attention back to my business or I wouldn't have an income! I am very enthusiastic about new projects and need a little dose of realism possibly :)

 © Gabriella Buckingham - Star Dream

For lack of money I try to do everything myself but deep down I know that isn't the way to make a business a success - it does depend on the sort of business of course but at some point you need help - whether financial or advisory. It's not being sure of your plans or yourself that scuppers you from the start. Writing this it is so obvious that I need a plan,  a goal and a set of instructions. Something I have never done, however listening to Tim Minchin on Radio 4 I feel in good company :)). I've always been one to just do it and see what happens. There comes a point where you have to direct what has happened. That's what I'm doing.

  part of something I am working on with my handwriting

I love Moobaacluck and will be developing it further refining what I offer on wood and introducing a lot more childrens art and greeting cards. The wooden decorations are unlikely to be mass produced (unless someone tips up with a licensing deal? anyone!?). I very recently acknowledged to myself that I don't want to do a large wooden trade range myself in the future because that would divert me away from designing and painting, I may keep that aspect very small and concentrate on personal orders.

Apart from needing extra help painting backgrounds at busy times I will be the one doing the painting, by hand with a brush. So many people say "spray paint!!" I fully understand why but that feels like cheating to me and I just won't go there. The action of painting is part of what I love. Some customers really get that - I know from all the lovely emails I get from them. So Moobaacluck will remain a hand painted personalised gift business - direct from me to the customer. My things are on a few select websites and I am very happy about that and grateful for all the orders that come through.

(Note: May 10th:  realised this week that the flower I drew on this card looks very like the Spoonflower logo so I am glad that as yet I haven't printed these!)

What do you think of this as a potential business card ? just the first draft  - spent far too long designing logos and web headers one day this week. Only to conclude it is much too soon to create a new site! Update: stationery designs coming on well and I am ordering paper stock and getting in quotes :)

Working with other people in some way for some of the time would be great. When my new lines are a success I will need  someone to pack with me;) and I may even get an accountant!

I love to design and paint and I love supporting other people where I can (hence the help a creative thing). Plenty to keep me busy. I am getting there - if I can stop myself fiddling with potential websites!

Do any of you identify with what I have said?

This post has been edited  - I am so grateful to you all for your comments , glad I posted but think doing this has been a lesson itself. It was cathartic but probably too open. Somethings should probably be written on paper and left to read the next day. The way I blog can sometimes be a bit too close to doing just that for comfort!