This was laugh out loud funny...
My husband showed me some Japanese instructions for his exciting motorcycle battery today....
and I quote, from the section re what to do if you come into contact with the acid:
"Method of detoxify:
Outside : to wash by clear fresh water.
Inside: take a plenty of clear fresh water of cattle breast, well - distributed egg or vegetable oil.
Please send to hospital at once.
Do not allow children to play it."
Well now you all know. Keep those cattle breasts handy.