Do holidays change you?

I'm back from Italy now; there was no wi-fi - at least I wasn't able to access it. It was daft to say that I'd blog everyday in May not being sure if I'd be able to. However I didn't really mind.. I was there to spend time with my friend and forget about work. No doubt I would only have been creating a full on holiday diary and this way it's hinted at.

(the top of Gubbio after a journey up the mountain in a little cage - the "Funevia")

It is strange to have an experience that none of my family shared; and curious to find that I didn't suffer from what I call "word search confusion" while away. I just had me to worry about. When I returned I found myself trying to speak fast to be heard or listened too and mixing up words in frustration! I found myself feeling angry (for more complicated reasons) for the first time since I left for Italy. Perhaps I just needed a longer holiday. Definitely.

What this tells me is that I need to take up meditation and conscious moments throughout the day when I just sit and breathe. I don't want targets or pressure to be mindful, just an awareness of the world around me and a little perspective. Also, when I can afford it  - more short breaks. It's so important.

(look at those colours)

Time away can change you if you remember these observations and want to change. How easy can it be? I often think about what would be my best self. I've never written down all the attributes of an ideal me.. I think I feel too overwhelmed about what it might take to be that person. For example I can admire people who host creative conferences and wish I could do similar.. but I'd be terrified.. and imagining that, I wonder is that something I'm just afraid of and could overcome, or is it something that actually I wouldn't want to do anyway. How do we know ourselves? There comes a point when you think - get on with what you do know you love! In a past life as a product manager I had to stand on stage and  give a speech to nearly two hundred people for about an hour and I used to be part of a dancing acting troupe as a teenager.. Sometimes you need reminding of what you have achieved.

I feel like this is a big topic.

( loved that cinquecento - I wasn't able to drive it but we are both very tall women and there was plenty of room in the front...and Susi told me that it was really fun to drive)

To return to holidays; I had a lovely break.. long chats with my friend, spectacular views, delicious Italian food, two good films, chats with the very friendly locals (Susanna is fluent in Italian and I am rusty O'level standard..more like total beginner since I took 29 years ago - gulp) plenty of vino and fun drives in a tiny car around the hills of  the Marche region of Northern Italy. Such a stunning place full of hill top Medieval towns and a vast undulating landscape.

(Gubbio from the hills)

I have just learned that Emmanuel Macron has become President. Thank goodness.

If this post raised any thoughts for you I would love to know. I wonder how wise it is just to muse away. It really helps me though :)